What Do You Do When You Have Nowhere To Go But Up?

Hey Royals! I hope this finds you well. I don't know if this topic is for you, but it hits very close to home for me. I have been in the place that I'm discussing here.

I have been in a situation that has left me flat on my back with nowhere to look but up. I am no expert, nor do I claim to have all the answers, but I have experienced this before, so I am sharing what helped me to get up, keep looking up, and move forward past that place.

I pray that if only one of my suggestions helps you get unstuck, or helps you to get through a situation, I have accomplished my goal.

1. When you are going through a challenging time in any area of your life, your spirituality is your first line of defense from giving up completely. No matter what your spiritual belief is, you have a higher being that you depend on. Whatever that may be, when you are in a “rock bottom” type situation, you need something to believe in because many times you find it hard to even believe in yourself. This is the time to tap into your belief system. If you pray, pray. If you meditate, meditate. No matter what you do, do it.

During times like these, faith is sometimes the only thing we have. The situation may seem so daunting that you can’t see any further than where you are. Hope is foreign at that moment, but you have to hold on to something and believe in something to assist you in even wanting to make the next step. You need something to believe in because usually, depression sets in and if you don’t have a way of refueling your hope, you may not be able to pull yourself out of it and completely give up.

I know what I’m talking about because I have been there.

So, the first thing to do is tap into your belief system. You should find some type of personal development system as well. You will need this to assist in healing from the trauma of the situation. Healing is not an overnight thing. Even when you have come out of it, there is still healing that has to be done or you will find yourself right back in the same spot. Tapping into personal development can give you tools and armor to fight against possible depression and help you see that change is possible. It will help you to grow in many areas of your life. Find books, podcasts, videos, or even a mentor that will feed you positive information to help improve many, if not all areas of your life.

And the most important thing is to believe in yourself. When you are faced with this type of situation, the hardest thing to do is to believe in yourself; especially if you are there due to something you did or failed to do. The easiest thing to do is to beat yourself up. But you need to give yourself grace. We all make mistakes. No matter the magnitude of the mistake, once you identify it and resolve to change it, forgive yourself. As long as you are human, there is a very strong probability of a mistake being made, so give yourself grace and never stop believing in yourself.

2. The second thing is to reevaluate your situation. Many times, we skip this part because we are so busy trying to find a way out, but it is a very important step. You have to look at where you were before all of this happened. Review it to see where you may have made the mistake that landed you where you are currently. I promise you if you look back and thoroughly review where you were prior to where you are, you will find exactly what caused the change.

Once you figure out how you got here, you need to figure out where you are going or where you want to go. There is a saying that I have heard many times and it fits perfectly, “When you fall on your back (rock bottom), as long as you can look up you can get up”. This is so very true. You have to decide that you will not stay where you are and do the work to move from that place. Take responsibility for what happened to get you here and decide not to stay flat on your back. Look up, get up, and get moving.

3. Third, create a plan of action. Now that you have reevaluated, you know where changes need to be made and now it is time to sit down and formulate a plan to change things around. You have to set goals for each of the things you need to do in your comeback. Small short-term, attainable goals that will fall in line with your end goal. This is when you take a piece of paper and write them down with a deadline and your action steps. Post your goal somewhere that you can see it every day, maybe even multiple times a day. It is important to keep your goals in the forefront of your mind so that you can stay focused. Now the most important part of this step is…do it! Don’t spend too much time planning or creating the plan, write it down and then get to work.

4. Lastly, and this is the one that can be a bit challenging, hold yourself accountable. Accountability is crucial in your comeback because if you don’t, I can almost guarantee you will revisit your current situation. The reason is, you will have reevaluated, created a plan, jumped out of the starting blocks and the first time it gets difficult you will stop. Take my word for it; I am speaking from experience.

Allow me to be a bit transparent. I was homeless with my four children, and I fell into a deep depression; one that made me feel that my children would be better off with someone else…crazy, I know. But it was real. I did the steps I outlined above and was well on my way to turn my situation around. Things got tough, and I slowed down and eventually gave up on the very attainable goals I set because I didn’t keep them in the forefront of my mind, nor did I hold myself accountable when I had those weak moments.

Thankfully, I got my sh*t together, refocused, got off my ass, and got to work. If I had not remembered to hold myself accountable, I could still be in that situation.

A great idea is to get a reliable accountability partner. Someone that will not let you give up on you. Find a person that will not treat you with "kid gloves" but will hold you to what you said you were going to do. This could be a family, a friend, or just someone you trust that has your back.

Don’t beat yourself up when you falter a bit because it can happen; maybe more than once. You have to give yourself grace. The situation is most likely stressful so, give yourself a break. Find something that you like to do that will reduce the stress of the situation. Whatever makes you feel good.

And the last thing, reward yourself when you achieve a goal. It is important to celebrate yourself for sticking to your plan and doing what is needed to change your situation…that is worth a reward. So, make sure not to bypass this very important step.

Bottom line: get mad at the situation and then get M.A.D. (Make A Decision). Decide that you will no longer be in the situation you are in and that you will never be there again. Take responsibility for why you are currently where you are and create a plan to change the situation and how to maintain the change.

Life throws things at you sometimes from left field. Everything will be going swimmingly and out of nowhere; life makes a 180-degree shift, and you are right back where you came from. Usually, when that happens, there is a lesson that you were supposed to learn the first time that is vital in you moving to the next, higher level in your life. Sometimes it is solely your fault. Either way, there is always a lesson. Your main goal is to identify the lesson, learn it and commit to moving forward from it.

The beauty of life and the grace and mercy of the Most High is that nothing ever stays the same. There is the possibility of growth in every situation. You have the ability to change your circumstances; you just have to make the decision, tap into your spirituality, create the plan, hold yourself accountable to achieve your goals, believe in yourself, and celebrate yourself.

When you feel you have hit rock bottom, there is nowhere to look or go but up! You got this!

This too shall pass!

I love you and there is nothing you can do about it!

Until next time,

Peace and blessings!

Jeanene Durham is the owner of The Concierge Queen, LLC. She has assisted many business owners, and individuals in creating a healthy work/life balance. e is a published author, mother, grandmother, woman empowerment leader, and serial entrepreneur.

hello@theconciergequeenllc.com