Jeanene Reinvented Phase One: Reflection

The Concierge Queen
Jan 31, 2023
5 min read

Updated: Feb 6, 2023

Hey Royals! I hope you enjoyed your holidays. They were nothing less than eventful for me. I was on a roller coaster that had no restraint bars! I was jostled around a lot, and to be honest, the ride was far from over.

Phase one of my reinvention involves doing some reflection, some soul searching and facing some truths about myself that I wished I could have left where they were.

The foundation of an effective, personal reinvention is looking back at the things you have done and gone through that have shaped your character, personality, and decisions thus far. Once they are identified, the real work begins. Facing your "demons" and addressing your responsibility can bring up things you may have tried to forget. Harrowing things, you thought you grew past but didn't. For me, this was the hardest part. Earlier in 2022, some things came up that forced me to reflect on some things and made me realize I needed to reinvent myself.

While dealing with my past, I saw that my present is the way it is because of the things I have yet to deal with. I didn't like what I saw, so I decided to make drastic changes to ensure my future was not a clone of my past and present.

I will not share all the things I had to revisit, but I will share a couple. These are not deep but vital. When you start this journey, your reflection takes you back to even the small events or things you may deem less requisite and may have thought didn't significantly impact you.

It is referred to as "shadow work" by some, and I understand why now. The things that are a part of your now that you don't understand are there, hiding deep in your subconscious and heart, but because they didn't affect you as profoundly as another thing, you don't dwell on them, and they get moved to the "shadows" of your heart and mind. But they are still there and poke their heads out here and there through your attitude, character, and interaction with others.

To completely reinvent yourself, you must address them and everything else.

My Voice Being Heard

One of the things I have dealt with for most of my life is being cut off when I am speaking. It is the rudest thing to me. In a conversation, I would be talking, and the other person would either cut me off and say what they wanted to say or strike up a conversation with someone else, all while I was speaking to them. The other person would ask a question, and I would not respond. It always happened and caused me to shut down during a conversation. It happened to me as a child and followed me throughout life.

Allowing that to cause me to shut down was allowing others to control me and my mood. I had to identify that and find ways not to let it get to me. I have started letting whoever does that to me know immediately what they did and how it made me feel. Many people don't realize that they have done it and don't know how it affected me unless I tell them. I feel empowered by speaking up, which has helped me in other areas of my life when I would put others' feelings above my own, which caused me to feel some way. As a business owner, I must be an effective speaker, so I applied that same energy to personal conversations and noticed a major difference.

Do It Now!

Procrastination is the assassin of achieving goals. As I reflected, I realized that procrastination was a major hindrance in achieving my dreams and being consistent in the things I wanted to change. Putting off the things I needed to do for myself, and my business had been one of the major causes of my not being where I wanted to be.

Once I recognized that trait in myself, I took responsibility. I promised myself that I would no longer allow procrastination to be why I always felt like I was catching up instead of being where I wanted to be. I noticed that things fell into place for me in every area of my life because I didn't put things off; I took care of them expeditiously, and the results confirmed that I was on the right track.

No Band-Aids...True Healing

Lastly, I will share that one of the realizations was something that happened to me as a teenager that created some negative things in my life that I couldn't put my finger on until I chose to deal with what happened, heal and work on reversing or adjusting the things that were remnants of the event.

One of the main things that came from that event was my inability to trust anyone. Trust was the hardest thing to earn from me. I may not say anything to the person about it but believe me, it was not freely given.

My trust issues remained and affected my relationships. I have been married twice, and in both marriages, I dealt with trust issues and other things that arose because of that one event all those years ago.

I had to forgive the person and myself. I had to learn to love myself and the things that make me happy. Putting myself first assisted in my being able to face the event and stop blaming myself. Completely liberating and a big step in healing those trust issues.

Reflection is vital to growth. Some may say leaving the past in the past is valid, but how can you understand why you are the way you are or do the things you do if you don't understand your past? Understanding and healing from those shadows of your past don't mean you have to live there, but it is an excellent place to visit as a reference point and to see if any triggers may have been established.

Reflection is necessary, but I am so glad to have made it through this phase of my reinvention...whew!

Not to say the remaining phases will be a walk in the park, but remembering, accepting, and healing or even starting the healing process is one of the most difficult. I still have a ways to go, but because I have decided to go through this process to ascend and grow, I will continue to reach my goal of reinvention.

Thank you for sharing this experience with me. I love the things I am learning about myself and am excited to meet the new me.

Until next time,

Peace and blessings

Jeanene Durham is the owner of The Concierge Queen, LLC. She has assisted many business owners, and individuals in creating a healthy work/life balance. She is a published author, mother, grandmother, woman empowerment leader, and serial entrepreneur.

hello@theconciergequeenllc.com