Do You Know Your Self Worth?

Hey Royals! In one of our last conversations, we talked about our mindset and how important it is in every area of life. How your mindset, positive or negative, is the catalyst of everything we do. We spoke on thoughts and how they can form your opinion of yourself.

Now another area I found that your mindset can regulate is how you value your self-worth, and how you allow others to as well. This is something that took me a while to understand myself. I honestly never considered it. I have a large family (7 children) and in the midst of taking care of them and doing everything else I had to do, I did not think of how low the price tag was on my own self-worth nor did I recognize how other's may be devaluing it as well.

Webster's defines self-worth as..."the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem and self-respect". Many times, as women, subconsciously, we overlook how others value us. I know this is true for men as well, but as a woman, I can only speak from that perspective. I am asking the men that are reading this to feel free to comment how you feel on this topic. Do you put high price tag on your self-worth, and do you find that others devalue it?

Self-Sabotaging your self-worth

Sometimes we do it ourselves when we get in a routine of give, give, give; do for others, do for others, do for others, and forget about giving and doing for ourselves. We neglect our own self-worth. As women we don't put enough value on our time, relaxation, etc. And it's sad to say, but if we don't take our self-worth seriously, no one else will; even our loved ones inadvertently take advantage of these things. And that is because of our mindset that was trained by the women that reared us, who were taught by the women that reared them and so on that the man goes and makes that money and the woman handles everything else. Don't get me wrong, I am not faulting them at all. Women are natural nurturers, and we tend to put ourselves last. That is a nurturing mindset. But we must learn in the midst of all of that, take care of yourself, give to yourself, and make yourself and your self-worth a priority.

The Relationship of Mindset and Self-worth

The relationship of mindset and self-worth is very important though. They basically feed off of one another. A highly valued sense of self-worth produces a positive mindset and positive opinion of yourself. While on the other hand, a devalued sense of self-worth breeds negative thoughts and a negative opinions without any extra effort.

Negative vs Positive Mindset in Relation to Self-Worth

Think about it, when you have been run ragged and receive no type of appreciation for all you have done, you begin to think negatively, "No one appreciates all that I do", "I feel taken advantage of", " They treat me like I'm their maid". Because you allowed your time, energy, and effort to be devalued, you have the wrong opinions of yourself which causes you to have a negative mindset.

You may not think this but, when you are in that frame of mind your creativity is affected, your energy level is low, and you begin to feel sad or upset. And it becomes a boomerang effect because you may lash out at those you love and put them in a negative headspace about you and the last thing they want to do after that is to value your self-worth or any of that. Just my opinion.

Now let's turn it around. When you have run yourself ragged and you get a sincere 'thank you' or recognition for all that you do, your self-worth is valued and that puts you in the right, now positive mindset. Your thoughts are more, "They noticed what I did", "They appreciate me" and that gives you the right opinion of yourself and you begin to flow.

Now let's turn it around. When you have run yourself ragged and you get a sincere 'thank you' or recognition for all that you do, your self-worth is valued and that puts you in the right, now positive mindset. Your thoughts are more, "They noticed what I did", "They appreciate me" and that gives you the right opinion of yourself; your mood shifts, the energy around you changes, and all is good in the world.

Again, the beginning of a healthy, positive sense of self-worth is our mindset and our opinions of ourselves; what we think and how we see ourselves. It is crucial in developing a positive self-image. Your creativity will flow, your energy and serotonin levels will raise and you will feel better about yourself in all areas of your life. Now let's turn it around. When you have run yourself ragged and you get a sincere 'thank you' or recognition for all that you do, your self-worth is valued and that puts you in the right, now positive mindset. Your thoughts are more, "They noticed what I did", "They appreciate me" and that gives you the right opinion of yourself and you begin to flow.

Again, the beginning of a healthy, positive sense of self-worth is our mindset and our opinions of ourselves; what we think and how we see ourselves. It is crucial in developing a positive self-image. Your creativity will flow, your energy and serotonin levels will raise, and you will feel better about yourself in all areas of your life.

Being Selfish is Not a Bad Thing

We as women have complexed existences. We wear many hats and are so many different things to so many different people. As I say often, "we wear multiple hats for the multiple things we are to multiple people". In that process, we oftentimes lose ourselves. We do everything for everyone else and forget to do for ourselves. Again, this is geared to men as well. There are many men that have to wear a lot of the hats that women have to wear, and they subconsciously devalue their self-worth. Unknowingly we do not place the deserved value on our own self-worth; the value of our love, time, and energy. We just go, go, go, and make sure that everything is taken care of, and everyone is happy and fulfilled and then realize something is missing within us.

Set Those Boundaries!

Let me know in the comments when was the last time you told someone no. When that life or death issue came up and no one on earth could fix it but you, which is damn near every issue with your family lol, did you evaluate the situation, determine it was not life or death and said, "no, you can handle that" or "it can wait"?

When was the last time you turned your phone off, went in your room, locked the door, and gave firm instructions for no one to knock on it? Or had a spa day alone, a walk alone, delegated chores and tasks to someone and just took time to relax, took an afternoon and just read a book, went to the movies, had dinner or had shopping therapy alone? Actually, took some real 'me time'. If you have to think about it, it's been too long.

Those things may not seem like ways of understanding, gauging, or demanding your self-worth but they are. They are forms of self-love and the placement of boundaries. If you don't set them, you will find yourself in the state of mind that I mentioned at the beginning. So, make the others respect your self-worth by putting yourself first; even if it is for just one day. Set those boundaries, stick to them, and say no. You will begin to appreciate yourself and once that happens no one will be able to diminish an ounce of your self-worth; with or without their appreciative words or actions. You will be able to admonish yourself.

Raising the bar on how others treat you and how you treat yourself, setting boundaries, self-love, self-care, mental and physical mini vacations, self-admonishment and putting yourself first may sound selfish; that's because it is and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish in the area of your self-worth. It may sound harsh and that's ok because these are survival tactics. Guarding your physical and mental health are two of the most important things you can do for yourself and your self-worth.

I want to hear from you. Do you agree or disagree with what I said? What is your take on the importance of self-worth? Let's talk about it. Leave a comment.

I hope that you will find one or ten ways to raise the price tag on your self-worth...you are more than worth it.

Until next time,

Peace and blessings!

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I almost forgot. There is a new package coming soon! Stay connected because there is going to be something special with it.

Jeanene Durham is the owner of The Concierge Queen, LLC. She has assisted many business owners and individuals create a healthy work/life balance. She is a published author, mother, grandmother, woman empowerment leader and serial entrepreneur.

hello@theconciergequeenllc.com

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