Jeanene M. Hall-Durham
"The Healing Wordsmith"
This is the second book in the Queens Bleed Too series. The poems in this book are not categorized and are a continuation of my healing process.
Emotional healing can take longer than expected and even when you think you are healed, something may happen or be said that will trigger an emotion that you thought was long one.
In this book I am dealing with those triggers the best way I know how; through my words.
My hope is that there will be just one poem if not more, that resonate with you, speak the words that you may have not been able to formulate and assist in your healing as well. Ase'
Excerpt from Queens Bleed Too: Getting it Off of My Chest...
QUEEN STATUS
Have you ever awaken from a good night’s sleep, stretched and smiled, then realized nothing has changed?
The day preceding was a wreck and you hoped that things would be different eight hours later.
It took every ounce of strength you could muster to take the last steps to your pillow,
And upon awakening, you find that same pillow moistened from tears shed throughout the night.
I don’t even remember crying!
The worries and cares of the wakening hours have followed you to your dreams,
A respite from your thoughts won’t even come in slumber it seems.
After a few moments you rise from your bed,
Amazed at how quickly the worrisome thoughts fill your head.
A faint word of thanks to the Creator is a struggle,
Clarity of gratitude due to anxiety is muddled.
This can’t be right. All of life should not be a fight,
Somewhere in this race of rats you have to get it right.
Whew! This is exhausting!
I can’t go on like this,
I won’t…
And this stress I will dismiss.
Lie back down, try it again,
I’m resolved that this small mind battle, I will win.
Great rising Queen; I say to myself,
Thanks to the Creator for another breath.
A smile, even forced brings mental clarity,
Not going to entertain any negativity.
The water from my shower washes away the fatigue of the restlessness I suffered during my brief siesta,
Adorn a fly outfit to boost my self-confidence, my crown is on point and I smell real good.
Bring it! That’s what I say to my day.
Outside of my door may look dull and dreary,
But there is sunshine in my smile and all of Spring is in my step.
My swagger is intense; the birds even whistle at me.
See what changing your mind can do?
Making the choice to be happy; to just be you.
I’m winning no matter what my situation may look like,
I’m ahead of the game in spite of the invisible scars from my last mental fight.
Double takes and phone number requests only heighten my esteem,
Hard to believe I am that same woman that woke with tears from her dream.
It’s a choice man! I run this show!
If I hadn’t told you, you wouldn’t even know.
Blessed and highly favored is my permanent hashtag,
I’ve got it going on; don’t hate, I have room to brag.
You have no idea what this queen has endured,
If I told you just a smidge, your mouth would be agape,
Uh, then and only then would you have room to try and hate.
Don’t throw shade on my hustle,
I earned everything I have acquired.
Instead of looking at me sideways, ask me my story, you might be inspired.
I’m far from what some would call a…well you know what I mean,
I’m humble and happy, prayerful and positive,
Miss me with your presence if you are talking negative.
I’m on a mission to save myself and any others that I can,
So if you can roll with that, then you are a part of my divine purpose and plan.
If you’re not, too bad; I can’t wait around Boo,
I’m on a journey; I will make it…with or without you.